There are things that supposedly happened to me that I just don't remember. Things that my grandma told me happened when I was a child but that I was still old enough that I should remember.
My grandma was my legal guardian, I'm not sure when that happened,by the time I was two, I think. I only know that she was responsible for me since my mother was incapable of taking care of me.
When I was 6, my first year in school, my mother and stepfather kidnapped me and took me on a cross country trip in the 18 wheeler that he drove for a living. Supposedly, I was playing outside of the bar/restaurant where my grandma worked and my mother drove up in a car and asked me to go with her and I went. They had me for a month. I remember nothing about any of that trip. I do remember my grandma telling me most of my life that it was my fault that it happened because she had told me over and over again not to get in the car with my mother and not to go anywhere with her.
Supposedly, we traveled all over the country.
You think I would remember something about a month long trip in a tractor and trailer!
What happened during that month? Is it something so horrifying that I just blocked it? It's like chasing shadows.
Tractors were smaller than the ones of today. There was only a small sleeper in the back. I know that much because I did go with them to the store occasionally when I got older and my stepfather even let me change the gears while he was driving.He drove a truck until I was about 17. My point is...where did we all sleep? Where did we eat. Where did I take a bath? They must have bought me clothes to wear, since all I had was what I was wearing. I even had to repeat the first grade because I missed a month of school.
So where is the memory?
I was reading a book last night about a man who remembered his father picking him up from his crib! And I can't remember a month long trip with a crazy woman and a drunk? I can't remember being away from my safe home and from the grandmother who loved me and took care of me?
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